


A Lantean Christmas Carol

by phalanges mccoy (empresswrit)



Series: Atlantis One-Shots [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Carol scenario, F/M, M/M, Major McBeck, Major McShep, Minor Sparky, almost crack i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 10:11:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5286764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empresswrit/pseuds/phalanges%20mccoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Aww, they are so going to kiss," Weir said.<br/>"Pass the popcorn, Elizabeth."<br/>"Teyla... you never said you could see ghosts."<br/>"Why would I disclose that?" Teyla's smirk was mischievous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lantean Christmas Carol

Beckett was dead to begin with. There is no doubt about that. He had turned to ash and dust that day. Kindness killed, and Carson was evidence of that. Death and Life were both cruel entities as they took and gave with little warning-- a warning a certain scientist could have heeded. 

But alas, he was given no such thing of the sort. Carson disintegrated due to his sheer will for compassion. It sickened Rodney to no end. That and the guilt twisted him, tore him to two.

And that was why he had decided not to go to the Holiday Festivities in the Mess. Pulling the Athosian curtain 'round his bed and getting ready for a deep slumber, McKay slipped out of his slippers. He peered at the picture of Carson on his dresser. Trying to force the pangs of something so beautiful lost, Rodney turned away and shivered. Tears prickled at the edge of his sad blue eyes. But what was lost was lost. He climbed into his bed and shut his eyes. He had to force the thought of Beckett out of his mind, or he wouldn't sleep.

\-------

"Rodney," came a voice and a chill. It steeped through the room. He could feel it in his bones, shivering and frigid and deep, almost a part of him. But the warmth that came with the voice. He knew that voice.

Turning towards the door, Rodney nearly had a heart attack. Carson Beckett stood there in a yellow robe, eyes gleaming as he smiled at McKay in that special way that he always had. What originally felt cold deep within the scientist felt like fire. 

"Carson?" He said, his voice cracking at the end.

Beckett walked forward, and Rodney could see that the robe dragged across the floor for a good while.

"You're a hallucination, aren't you? My subconscious must be mad that I'm not at the party."

Carson snorted and crossed his arms. "You git. I'm a spirit." He gave a small bow, "Haven't you ever read 'A Christmas Carol'? I'm the Spirit of Christmas Past."

McKay shook his head, "I don't believe in spirits. I'm a scientist, not a religious nut job."

The Spirit walked forward, resting his hand on the other's cheek, "You're calm, Rodney. I'm glad. That'll make this easier. Some people up there have decided that you need help. So they sent me and two others to come put you on the right path."

"The right path?"

"It'll be shown to you in time, love," Beckett murmured, leaning down to snag a kiss from the other's lips.

McKay shivered at the gesture-- it was a conflicting feeling of warmth and cold, both intense. He found himself gripping the other's robe and pulling him in for another. They stayed like this for a few moments, just kissing and reveling in each other's company.

"I've missed that," Beckett said, before glancing down at a pocket watch that seemingly appeared out of nowhere, "Oh my. We're running late. Come on now."

"But, Carson--" McKay began. He would have rather laid there with Carson.

"We'll get to us, Rodney. But first, we have to go back. Give me your hand." The Spirit's voice was crisp and he offered his hand to Rodney.

McKay took it. Without a single warning, his room on Atlantis fell away, and he clutched onto Carson's robe. He was afraid that he was going to fall. Even as the stars swarmed around him, as they traded galaxies for a brief moment. It was beautiful to see all of these stars. They came too rapidly to focus on a single one. But that was where most of the beauty came from.

They landed in the snow, two figures bumbling about.

Rodney stood up on shaky legs and took notice of his surroundings.

The snow laid down onto the ground gently like a cold blanket. The house that was before him caused his stomach to lurch. 

So that was where Carson had taken him.

"Why here, Mr. Voo Doo? Why not someplace else?"

"This was where you first started to learn that compassion wasn't all it was cracked up to be, wasn't it?" 

"You shouldn't have brought me here. I don't want you to see--"

"I'm dead, Rodney. What can I do, make fun of you for your past? Do I look like I'd do that?"

Rodney sighed, eyes brimming with tears. This hurt. He wish he'd have went to the party instead.

"No," he said, head hanging down.

Carson offered him a single touch and directed him to a window. "Look. There's your sister and your parents... and you." 

Inside, two children were playing as two adults argued. A decorated tree was in the corner of the room, and despite the joy of the season, there was a feeling of gloom throughout the house.

"He's breaking us apart, Margie!"  
"You shut up. Shut up. It's Christmas and all you can think about is leaving? Your nerve! Do all of us a favor and go, Radcliffe."  
"Look at him. He's just a no-good-for-anything--"

Jeannie leaned over her brother and covered his ears, shooting her father a scowl.

"RADCLIFFE!" Rodney's mother screamed out the name. It sounded so contorted on her lips, "THAT IS ENOUGH."

Rodney's father shrugged and walked down the hall, but not before giving Rodney a glare.

"He didn't like you that much while you were growing up," Carson said, tearing McKay away from the scene that had unfolded.

"Never did," he said absent-mindedly.

"That doesn't make it your fault. Them breaking up."

McKay flinched, "I don't know if anyone has told you, Carson, but I don't blame myself about that."

"Then why are you crying, Rodney?"

Rodney looked at him with his 'Are you kidding me?' face, but as he reached up to his cheek, there were tears. Damn.

"It was are traumatic thing to go through again-"

"Don't make excuses. I know you better than you think, you git."

McKay huffed, shoulders sagging, "Of course you do."

Carson smirked, hand reaching out to squeeze Rodney's arm, "It wasn't your fault. Now- give me your hand again. We have two more stops."

With a sigh but a desire to touch Carson again, Rodney reached out and took the Spirit's hand.

"How did you become the Ghost of Christmas Past, anyway?"

"Each one is picked for each person."

They switched galaxies again, and McKay nearly wanted to scream as he saw where they were.

Two men laid in bed together, eyes glued to a TV. They were fully clothed as they cuddled, both giving into the joy of the season, drunk on laughter and a little too much eggnog.

"Happy Christmas, Rodney," one whispered, while the other replied, "Merry Christmas, Carson."

McKay turned away from the scene, especially as they dissolved into kisses. The shuffle of fabric made Rodney cringe, but the fact that the words within became garbled pushed him to nearly punch the Spirit.

"Why did you bring me here, Carson?"

"Do the memories hurt you that bad, Rodney?"

"Yes," he whispered.

The two figures in the room were now laughing and kissing, breathless and so deep in love.

"Look at me."

Rodney gazed back at Carson, and the Spirit found himself hugging the other.

"Katie needed you. Besides, it wouldn't have worked, would it? Sheppard was in love with you in the first place."

The light had gone out in the room, two figures clutching each other, the afterglow of what they had done a beacon of what had once been.

"I would have made it work. I would have went fishing with you. I should have. Then you'd still be here."

"Don't give me that. Come on, last stop."

Rodney took Carson's hand for the last time, and he cringed. 

"Merry Christmas, Jeannie."  
"Mer! What're you doing here?"  
"I just figured that we could spend Christmas like a family."  
"Mer...."

The scene was that quick, and McKay watched as his other self slinked away. He had a hotel. That's where he would have spent Christmas that year.

"This was last Christmas," McKay said, eyeing Carson.

"Aye, it was."

After a beat, Beckett whispered, "I'm sorry I died."

"Don't apologize. I should be the one to say sorry--"

"It's not your fault, either. Sheppard or Ronon had just as much of a chance to save me as you did."

"But I--" The words burned in his throat, loved you.

"I know, Rodney. I loved you, too."

McKay turned and yanked Carson into his arms, fingers tangling into his robe.

"You can't stay, can you?"

Beckett gave a smile, shaking his head.

"Of course I can't. But you knew that."

The surroundings around them melted and they were back in his quarters.

"I'm always with you, though. And you're in for a surprise," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Rodney clutched to him desperately, "Please. Don't go."

"I can't not go, love," Carson said gently, "besides... you wouldn't want to miss your next Spirit, would you?"

Another chill struck through the air and Carson was gone.  
\-----------  
Rodney shot up from bed.

"It's been a long time, Rodney," said a voice, low and feminine.

He sighed, "So I really am going on a spiritual journey, huh?"

"We always thought you needed a little more compassion," she said, smirking.

Weir wore a robe of green and a crown of holly. Her hair was longer and it framed her face. She slipped deeper into the room, eyes crinkling with mischief. 

"I'm your Spirit of Christmas Present."

Rodney gave her a good stare, "You've been dead for--"

She snorted, "You didn't even mention to Carson about his clone. I'm shocked."

McKay waved it off, "We tried. Didn't work out. Thought it was better to not tell him. Besides... my Carson did die."

Weir strolled around the room, "He did, yes. But you could've still loved him. And Clone Carson looked at you the same way Carson did."

"It wasn't--"

She sighed, "Shush, Rodney."

With a snap of her fingers, they were in the Mess Hall. The Holiday party ran amuck around him. A drunken Ronon stumbled through the pair, and Rodney sighed.

The focus shifted, however, to a certain Colonel in the corner. If one hadn't known him, they would have said that he was crying. But in truth, John held such a stoic expression that it made Rodney ache.

"He's still handsome," She remarked, the mischief still there.

"Oh shush, you," Rodney said.

"Rodney still hasn't shown up."  
"I know. Give him a minute."  
"John, he is not coming."  
"Teyla--"

Rodney stepped forward, hand waving in front of John's face. Nope. Nothing.

Yet why was Teyla looking at the space where he stood in that weird way? That was the same look she had when she knew someone was up to something.

McKay caressed John's cheek. Sheppard shivered, "Damn. It's cold in here."

"Am I dead?" 

"No."

McKay continued to touch John, first by ruffling his hair. John kept shivering. Then Rodney moved to his neck, and all the way down until John looked a little blue.

"Colonel, narrow your eyes," Teyla said.  
"I don't see anything."

Rodney smiled.

Weir sighed, "Of course she can see us."

She stooped down to give Teyla a hug and whispered something in her ear.

"Sorry, John. Must be too much eggnog."

Weir came back with a smirk on her lips, "What? Don't look at me like that."

"What is this really about? Suddenly my lack of compassion doesn't seem like an ample excuse. What's your play here?"

"John. Look at him. He misses you. Are you really going to let him slip away because you're hung up on Carson?"

"... Is that what this is about?"

"Christmas Future will tell you all about what happens if you don't tell him."

Rodney shivered, leaning down to press a kiss to John's forehead. John jumped, looking up at the air for a split second--

"That felt--"

Teyla smirked behind her hand.

"Yeah. Too much eggnog. Still can't believe Zelenka got that robe from Ronon for the gift exchange."

"Neither can I."

"He looks like some Czechoslavkian Grim Reaper."

"Grim Reaper?"

"Never mind."

The Spirit smiled at Rodney, "Come on. I think it's time we go back to your room. You have an appointment with Future. He doesn't like it when people are late."

Weir snapped her fingers again, and Rodney was standing in his room.

"I'm sorry you died," McKay said, head hanging low.

"Everyone has to die, one day or another," she offered him a smile, "Go easy on Woolsey."

She added, almost like an afterthought, "And Rodney-- love him like I did."

With a final snap, Elizabeth had vanished.

Did she actually admit that?  
\-------

"Stupid robe," came the Spirit's voice.  
"You're stupid," said another.

McKay glared at the two Spirits.

"I thought there was only one of--"

The two figures inched forward, pulling back their hoods. Zelenka and... himself?

"Weir doesn't like giving away surprises. But-- Carson warned you," he heard. His own voice echoed in the air slightly, and Rodney found himself laughing.

"I am here to do the magic. He is here to do the talking," Radek replied, rolling his eyes, "And yes, I'm asleep. Not dead. I won't remember this, do not worry."

"How am I even here?" He said jabbing a finger in his robed-self's direction.

"Maybe because... I'm not you," he replied, snorting, "I'm the angel of death. I just take the look of whoever you'll listen to. And it was yourself. Zelenka is here because Carson and Weir recommended him."

Rodney sighed, glaring at the both of them, "Fine. Just show me whatever you wanted to show me."

Death laughed but didn't say a word. Zelenka snapped his fingers and the world tilted. 

McKay landed on his knees in front of a headstone. It was snowing, and he could see a figure behind him. Their face was covered, but he could hear how distraught they were. They were sobbing openly. "John... god, I should have told you."

It was then that Rodney turned around. He saw himself, huddled on the ground, tears streaming down his face. He was openly sobbing here, white roses clutched in his grasp. 

Rodney looked at himself and then it clicked. He didn't even want to look at the tombstone.

"Take me away, Spirits."  
"No. If you don't tell him, he's going to die thinking you didn't love him. When he loved you, too."

Rodney shot them a look and moved away from his other sobbing self.

"You've been blessed with two loves, Rodney. Love both of them."

Gazing back at himself, McKay cringed when he spotted the ghostly version of John standing by him. He was raking his fingers through his other self's hair, a comfort that the other Rodney couldn't see.

McKay gazed up at both of them, "Take me back. Please. Take me back."

Death snorted, "It's not that easy. Last time I did this, we pushed Dickens into a coffin."

An eyebrow rose, "But Dickens wrote--"

Death waved him off, "Where do you think he got the idea from? Ugh, shut up. Radek, if you will--"

Zelenka's fingers rose into the air, almost like he was conducting an imaginary choir. They came down and Rodney was flung against the headstone nearest to him-- and then the world went black.

\------  
McKay sprung out of bed for what felt like the eighth time that night. Instead of finding more Spirit's to greet him, he was alone. The window was open, and he shifted across the floor to shut it.

What a journey he had been through.

Only one person's name was burned into the back of his mind: John's.

He slipped on his slippers and made a run for Sheppard's quarters.

\-------  
"McKay? It's two in the morning," John said, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and Rodney felt his cheeks flush.

"It is?" Rodney shook his head-- "I need to tell you something." 

"Can it wait?"

"No. It can't."

"You weren't at the party, McKay--"

"I love you, John."

Sheppard looked taken aback. He narrowed his gaze at Rodney before the flickered down to the floor.

"How are you so sure?"

"I was scared. Really scared. I thought you didn't feel the same way, okay?"

John opened the door quite a bit and stepped aside, "Come in."

Rodney slipped past him and moved to sit on John's bed.

"Aww, they are so going to kiss," Weir said.  
"Pass the popcorn, Elizabeth."  
"Teyla... you never said you could see ghosts."  
"Why would I disclose that?" Teyla's smirk was mischievous.

Elizabeth bumped her arm with Teyla's.

"This is making me blush," Carson said.  
"It does not take much," Radek replied, laughing.  
"Shush, all of you. I want to see this," Death said.

All of them rolled their eyes and laughed. The perch from which they sat was the most perfect vantage point. 

"Oh my god," Carson said, fanning himself.  
"John always had a nice ass," remarked Weir.  
"I'm sure we all agree," Radek replied.

"Alright, guys-- let's get out of here. I'll wake up Radek and Teyla in a second."  
"Thank you, Death. We will remember won't we?"  
"Of course. Just don't hold it over the both of them."

And with a whir of color, the Spirits and the two sleeping mortals left. 

\--------

"Merry Christmas, John," McKay whispered, moving to cuddle deeper in Sheppard's arms.

"Merry Christmas, Rodney," John echoed back. 

He pressed a gentle kiss to McKay's forehead. 

"Before I forget-- did you kiss my forehead down in the Mess?"

Rodney froze.

"... I didn't do a thing."

"Why are you acting like that, then?"

"No reason."

Sheppard rolled his eyes before he shimmied away from Rodney.

"Also," he said, clutching a package, "this was for you."

He handed it to Rodney, and McKay was overwhelmed for a brief second. He tore off the golden paper and broke out into a grin. It was a lemon plushie.

"Merry Christmas."  
"Ugh, get back here and kiss me. You're lucky this wasn't an actual lemon--"  
"Shut up, McKay."  
"Make me."

Rodney couldn't say another word.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it. And yes, I was able to put three ships into this.  
> The idea of Carson in a yellow robe and Elizabeth looking all regal came from simlead.  
> I blame her for this.
> 
> Thanks to all of these lovely people on tumblr for reading it:  
> averyfinelookingsmorgasborg, leavingprettycorpses, simlead, snippylittletano
> 
> Happy holidays.


End file.
